Entry 492; Day 865

[misterblackbird]

Today, as it happens, is the anniversary of my arrival in the City. It was four years ago today that I left a tedious party fairly early in the evening and decided to walk home. But instead of walking home, I found myself following an unfamiliar alley down to the carousel that seemed to spin in some unknown square.

I don't know when I crossed the threshold between London and the City, because I saw the carousel while I was still in London, I feel certain, but I was very much in the City by the time I drew near to it. And there was no going back thereafter--and I'm not sure if this has all been better or worse than that boring party.

So, in light of four years of experience with the City and its ways, I have some particular advice for those in the City, both newly-arrived and established citizens, on how to endure it:

On Enduring the City and Its Ways

For the first part, despair is of no use. Nor, especially, is hope. Hope is perhaps of some greater use (so long as it doesn't drift into blind optimism), but remember that the 'deities' are fickle and could scarcely care less for us. Sitting about the fountain and hoping that they'll send one home is as much use as despairing over being in the City in the first place. It's like waiting on a desert isle and hoping for rescue but sending no signal to call a passing ship. The City is not a kind place. There are torments and curses and losses more sharply felt here than perhaps anywhere in any world. But, in my experience, of the most use in the City is simply continuing. There is little else one can do but try to continue, to press on, regardless. One cannot entirely give up. It seems like simple advice, but there isn't another way to explain it: keep going, despite being here, and without any great hope of any answers or release.

Second, the City deserves the same caution that any great city in any world merits. It is not necessarily a safe place to be. Indeed, the City may be more dangerous than the cities of other worlds if only because the City is a crossroads of all worlds. The dangers of every world can become the dangers of the City. Use care and caution in dealing with the City and those in it. Mind one's associates and acquaintances; be careful even among friends. Wit can be better than strength and, to use a tired saying, discretion is the better part of valour. In other words, try to stay alive. As well we know, those who die in the City do return, but they pay a heavy price for this kind of resurrection. Do try to keep alive. It's said that it makes getting out of the City distinctly simpler and I don't meant to test this myself.

Third, and tied somewhat to my first point, occupation is key. After all, the City, while a City, is also a prison. And some of the torment of a prison is in the confinement and boredom that wear down a prisoner to his end. So it is key to find something to do--whether it be employment or pleasure, some of the only ways to hold off the madness that can come in the City is to occupy oneself, somehow. Obviously, there are certain needs to be met immediately: a place to stay or live, food to eat, money to pay for both, and so on. But, thereafter, it does one well to keep a little busy and a little interested in that business. For my part, I've any number of things to occupy my time, but I've often tried to unravel the mysteries of the City itself, when I don't have something else to do. Granted, the curses dropped upon the City and its residents will, as often as not, come along to ruin any enjoyment or distraction, which brings me very neatly to my next point.

Fourth, life in the City is lived between the curses. There is no avoiding that fact, as there is no avoiding the curses themselves. They come up as would a fever or a storm, and, like the City itself, can only be endured. But, as with the City itself, one must press on regardless. And, while one cannot avoid the curses, an awareness of the general pattern of curses, caution at the approach of midnight, and a glance at the Network and out of a window each day can at least keep one aware of what's going on in the City. More often than not, the curses are unpleasant. A more considerate thing to do, perhaps, is to excuse the behaviour of those who have acted under a curse. Apologies abound on the Network in the days after a curse--and little wonder. The curses are very much like sickness, storms, or drunkenness and, after they have passed, life returns to what is considered 'normal' here in the City. Days without curses are the better days, and one must take them when one can.

And, finally, for the fifth, if one is so inclined, perhaps the best solution or the best answer to enduring the City is to confront the City, to try and untangle its mysteries themselves. As I said, I've looked into any number of the City's peculiarities before, and one would be surprised at the things I've seen and heard and learned. Between the Carousel, the Clock (which still doesn't seem to be ticking), the 'deities' and all the other creatures who come into this City, the worlds and lives of the other residents here, the City walls that keep us in and keep things out, the patterns of curses, and the stories of things that have come before in the City, there is an endless supply of riddles in this place. If they can be undone, perhaps the City itself will be undone. That's a bit hopeful, perhaps, but it has done me well enough.

And do remember that the City can, in fact, be endured. I've endured it for four years, with my life and most of my sense intact.

After all, it's only the dose that makes the poison.

~C.

[ooc: It's my Poly!versary today :D That's four years! Four years. But here's to many, many more! Today, Cain will explain to you how to endure the City. Because, yeah, he knows this. Hray--!!]

Comments

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I suppose it is. I had rather meant for those remarks about being careful with one's associates and acquaintances to cover that, you know.

There was a package that arrived at the opera house today. Do you know anything about it?

[ooc: Ha ha ha ha--that is some kind of awesome.]

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I think they're rather the opposite sides of the same coin, really. Choose one's friends carefully on one hand, but be confident in relying on the ones that one does have on the other.

A package? Was it a large, rectangular one with blue wrapping and a gold bow? Because if so, then no, I don't know anything about it.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

That is something like it, yes.

Yes, that's precisely the one. If you know what it looks like, you must have simply seen it as you passed by today.

I opened it, you know, since it was addressed to me. It was rather interesting.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that must've been what it was, yes. You know I do go past the Opera House sometimes, on my way about things.

Was it very interesting?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Yes, I do know that you sometimes do tend towards this side of town, from time to time.

It was. It seems to contain a small model of nothing less than the Tower of London, along with a handful of toy ravens.

I've no idea who might have sent it or what they might mean by all of this.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, then, that must be how I chanced to see it, since I certainly don't know anything about it.

Did it really? Why, how very interesting indeed. Though I do suppose it's fortunate it came with the ravens, you know, since I've been told it's quite important they stay at the Tower. It certainly wouldn't do to have one without the other.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

So I thought myself.

Yes, I recall mentioning that to you a few days ago, when we both happened to have birds, and mine happened to be a raven.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

We did speak about it, didn't we? That must be where I heard it, then. And didn't you say it was a popular sort of belief? So it seems your anonymous gifter must've known about it, as well. You did say the package was anonymous, didn't you?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

It's quite a popular belief, so far as I know. Most people have at least heard of it.

It was addressed to me, but, yes, I believe it was anonymous. Someone else must have been listening in.

I don't suppose that parrot of yours could have done it. It seems far too heavy for him to have carried.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, then, that leaves you with quite a lot of suspects, doesn't it?

I doubt it could've been my parrot, though, it's true. And in any case, surely someone would've noticed a parrot flying around with a box of that size. So I suppose it must've gotten there some other way, surely.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Indeed, it does, but I think they could be eliminated fairly easily.

As you've said, the parrot is quite out.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid so. Who else is left to suspect, then?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Well, there's you, of course, but you say you don't know anything about it.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

No, not at all. I do think it sounds like a very nice gift, though, and quite a thoughtful one, too.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Yes--a memento of home for the anniversary of one's arrival in the City is rather thoughtful, in an odd sort of way, I must say.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, four years is a long time to be away from a place, really. And it's much easier to keep hoping for something when one has something to hold on to while he hopes for it.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

There may be something to that. I've said that the fortnight I spent at home was little more than the 'deities' teasing me, but that was almost the same sort of thing.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Mmhmm. And I notice you're not including it in your count--that it's not two visits here of two years each, but one long one with a respite in the middle.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Well, it seems to make more sense that way, really.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I suppose it does, yes. I wonder if that means you'll have another one soon, now that another two years have gone by.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

And I could hardly object to such a visit home.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

No, certainly not. And I'm sure no one would fault you for looking forward to one--or taking advantage of the opportunity, if it were to arise--either.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Now I'll have to wait and see if such an opportunity is to arise.

In the meantime, I'd do well to follow my own advice, of course.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I suppose there's really no way of knowing unless it should chance to occur, so there's nothing to do but wait and see, yes.

That third point, though, about staying occupied...that seems like the one to observe most in the meantime, really.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I ought to put some ravens on the Tower of London.