Entry 492; Day 865

[misterblackbird]

Today, as it happens, is the anniversary of my arrival in the City. It was four years ago today that I left a tedious party fairly early in the evening and decided to walk home. But instead of walking home, I found myself following an unfamiliar alley down to the carousel that seemed to spin in some unknown square.

I don't know when I crossed the threshold between London and the City, because I saw the carousel while I was still in London, I feel certain, but I was very much in the City by the time I drew near to it. And there was no going back thereafter--and I'm not sure if this has all been better or worse than that boring party.

So, in light of four years of experience with the City and its ways, I have some particular advice for those in the City, both newly-arrived and established citizens, on how to endure it:

On Enduring the City and Its Ways

For the first part, despair is of no use. Nor, especially, is hope. Hope is perhaps of some greater use (so long as it doesn't drift into blind optimism), but remember that the 'deities' are fickle and could scarcely care less for us. Sitting about the fountain and hoping that they'll send one home is as much use as despairing over being in the City in the first place. It's like waiting on a desert isle and hoping for rescue but sending no signal to call a passing ship. The City is not a kind place. There are torments and curses and losses more sharply felt here than perhaps anywhere in any world. But, in my experience, of the most use in the City is simply continuing. There is little else one can do but try to continue, to press on, regardless. One cannot entirely give up. It seems like simple advice, but there isn't another way to explain it: keep going, despite being here, and without any great hope of any answers or release.

Second, the City deserves the same caution that any great city in any world merits. It is not necessarily a safe place to be. Indeed, the City may be more dangerous than the cities of other worlds if only because the City is a crossroads of all worlds. The dangers of every world can become the dangers of the City. Use care and caution in dealing with the City and those in it. Mind one's associates and acquaintances; be careful even among friends. Wit can be better than strength and, to use a tired saying, discretion is the better part of valour. In other words, try to stay alive. As well we know, those who die in the City do return, but they pay a heavy price for this kind of resurrection. Do try to keep alive. It's said that it makes getting out of the City distinctly simpler and I don't meant to test this myself.

Third, and tied somewhat to my first point, occupation is key. After all, the City, while a City, is also a prison. And some of the torment of a prison is in the confinement and boredom that wear down a prisoner to his end. So it is key to find something to do--whether it be employment or pleasure, some of the only ways to hold off the madness that can come in the City is to occupy oneself, somehow. Obviously, there are certain needs to be met immediately: a place to stay or live, food to eat, money to pay for both, and so on. But, thereafter, it does one well to keep a little busy and a little interested in that business. For my part, I've any number of things to occupy my time, but I've often tried to unravel the mysteries of the City itself, when I don't have something else to do. Granted, the curses dropped upon the City and its residents will, as often as not, come along to ruin any enjoyment or distraction, which brings me very neatly to my next point.

Fourth, life in the City is lived between the curses. There is no avoiding that fact, as there is no avoiding the curses themselves. They come up as would a fever or a storm, and, like the City itself, can only be endured. But, as with the City itself, one must press on regardless. And, while one cannot avoid the curses, an awareness of the general pattern of curses, caution at the approach of midnight, and a glance at the Network and out of a window each day can at least keep one aware of what's going on in the City. More often than not, the curses are unpleasant. A more considerate thing to do, perhaps, is to excuse the behaviour of those who have acted under a curse. Apologies abound on the Network in the days after a curse--and little wonder. The curses are very much like sickness, storms, or drunkenness and, after they have passed, life returns to what is considered 'normal' here in the City. Days without curses are the better days, and one must take them when one can.

And, finally, for the fifth, if one is so inclined, perhaps the best solution or the best answer to enduring the City is to confront the City, to try and untangle its mysteries themselves. As I said, I've looked into any number of the City's peculiarities before, and one would be surprised at the things I've seen and heard and learned. Between the Carousel, the Clock (which still doesn't seem to be ticking), the 'deities' and all the other creatures who come into this City, the worlds and lives of the other residents here, the City walls that keep us in and keep things out, the patterns of curses, and the stories of things that have come before in the City, there is an endless supply of riddles in this place. If they can be undone, perhaps the City itself will be undone. That's a bit hopeful, perhaps, but it has done me well enough.

And do remember that the City can, in fact, be endured. I've endured it for four years, with my life and most of my sense intact.

After all, it's only the dose that makes the poison.

~C.

[ooc: It's my Poly!versary today :D That's four years! Four years. But here's to many, many more! Today, Cain will explain to you how to endure the City. Because, yeah, he knows this. Hray--!!]

Comments

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I ought to put some ravens on the Tower of London.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

You'd be doing your part to help keep the empire from falling, certainly. Or so I've heard, that is.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I'm doing that twice over, if my being here helps to sustain my world.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's true. And Merry and Riff are helping along with you, now that you've the two of them here with you, too. I wonder if that means each of you has to do less individually, since there are more of you around? Or if it's all the same, but only one person is ever responsible for it at a time. It's an odd sort of question, certainly.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Yes, and, oddly, it puts me in mind of the stories I was told about the sacrifices the 'Animal Trinity' demanded more than four years ago.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Mm, I was rather thinking of that, too, after you told that story the other day. The clock ran down in those days, too, didn't it? You don't suppose they might be preparing to ask something like that of us again, do you?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I don't know, but I think that it did. And I don't know if they're planning on something like that again, but it could be possible.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

There's quite a bit that could be possible, I'm afraid. And no telling what it might be until it comes.

Have you heard the rumors about the word that's been showing up in strange places lately?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I've heard a little of it, but I've not seen it myself. Have you come across it? In more than in rumours, I mean.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Not personally, no. I know Claire was trying her best to puzzle it out, though, and it wouldn't be the first time a strange word showed up in odd places. I recall a day when the word "death" showed up in some lists of mine, without my ever writing it there.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I recall that too. But this word doesn't seem to mean anything quite like 'death'--not at first glance, at least.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

'IECENVDE'? No, it doesn't, though it does rather put me in mind of Greek or Latin, which is how one of my words turned up. But it could also be an anagram, with its letters jumbled--that was Claire's idea.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

It looks a bit like 'deceive' written with the letters confused, but that doesn't account for the 'n'.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

'Deceiven'? No, that wouldn't make any sense. I suppose that might leave 'deceive n', but then that leaves the question of what the 'n' might be, that it's being deceived.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it's only part of a longer phrase. It could be anything thereafter. 'Deceive not' or 'deceive now'.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Or perhaps there's another word coming still, to finish the sentence. My word might've been part of it, even--"Death deceive n", and then it'll go on from there.

Let me think, though, what were some of the other ones Claire came up with? "Dice even", "need vice", "evidence"...

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Hold on a moment--'evidence.' That's quite a real word. Yes, 'dice even' and 'need vice' are real phrases, but 'evidence' is one word that uses all the letters.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

'Evidence'? And I suppose that would fit if the words were meant to go together, as well, death and evidence. Like solving a mystery, which would fit in itself, because we're certainly faced with one at the moment.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

We've no reason to think they do go together, though.

Either way, if it says 'evidence', we're left to find out what the evidence is or means.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Other than that they both appeared without people meaning to write it, you mean. The words both showed up of their own volition, or seemed to, at least.

Death and evidence, though...do you suppose it could mean something to do with the dead in the City? Dead in their own worlds, but alive here...that's certainly evidence of something. Power, perhaps. Influence.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I suppose it could be.