Entry 240; Day 582

[misterblackbird]

[Voice Post Begins]
((Click))
((Soft shuffling sounds, the sounds of coat pockets and wind, of dead leaves and water.))

I know...

((A long pause.))

I know you're right, but...I don't know why. Ever since I touched you for the first time, I can't stop wanting... To watch you smile, to touch your hair, to be as close to you as I possibly can.

((Another pause, brief shuffling again.))

Am I not even allowed such simple pleasures as these? It's not so much to ask is it?

((A very long pause...))

Why do you deny me this, God?

One of a thousand wild roses in a field...
I would still find you...

((Shuffling, a sliding thump: he's on his knees reeling from the end of the vision.))
((A moment passes; he realises the Network device is recording. Angrily, he turns it off.))
((Click))
[//Voice Post Ends]

[ooc: Go go, accidental voice post. !=NO FILTERS=! Crai ;.; Yes, Meridiana memories. Imagine Cain fumbling around in the gardens outside the opera house, embracing nothing, pledging love to empty air, with the cellphone/PDA thing Riff gave him ages ago in his pocket. And that got turned on accidentally--maybe the curse did it.]

Comments

[teamaniac.livejournal.com]

Lost love?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Leave me be.

[teamaniac.livejournal.com]

That hardly answers my question.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I don't want to answer your question.

[teamaniac.livejournal.com]

I'm not here to play games with you, boy.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

And I'm in no mood for this either.

[teamaniac.livejournal.com]

Then how long has it been?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

How long has what been?

[teamaniac.livejournal.com]

Since you've seen this person.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

And it matters so much to you, does it?

[teamaniac.livejournal.com]

Maybe it does.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

A year or two, perhaps a little more if I count my time in the City.

[teamaniac.livejournal.com]

Not long enough to forget, hm?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

It will never be long enough to forget.

She doesn't WANT to agree with that statement yet....

[teamaniac.livejournal.com]

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

So you have your answer. Are you content now?

[teamaniac.livejournal.com]

I think so.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[anti-bereznoff.livejournal.com]

...would you like a hug?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I would not.

[anti-bereznoff.livejournal.com]

But.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I would not. I hadn't wanted this to go on the Network either.

1/2

[godsavethequeen.livejournal.com]

[godsavethequeen.livejournal.com]

Forgive the intrusion, but I would speak to the fact that I am sorry for your loss. It is presumptuous, not knowing the whole of your story, but my sympathy is honest, if without proper context.

1/2

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's a tangled story anyway.

[godsavethequeen.livejournal.com]

Most of the memorable ones are, for better or for worse.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Most memorable stories, I've found, tend towards the worse. And I would sooner forget them if I could.

[godsavethequeen.livejournal.com]

I am sorry to hear that and hope for better ones to come your way, ones you would not mind remembering.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Thank you. If I've fewer ones I'd rather forget, situations--curses--like this might be easier to bear.

We've not spoken before, I don't think, but I still have to ask: have you been struck by all this today?

[godsavethequeen.livejournal.com]

My apologies again. Some manners run away with me here. I am Padmé Amidala.

And to answer your question, no, I have been fortunate enough to escape it, though I have seen some who were given over to recalling pleasant things as well.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Cain Hargreaves. A pleasure, Miss Amidala, though it wish it were in better circumstances.

You are fortunate then. I've not been keeping much of a watch on the Network today. Perhaps it's a show of mercy that some are allowed to revisit pleasant things.

[godsavethequeen.livejournal.com]

I wish it as well, and hope that we may speak again on a kinder occasion.

It may be random, from what I can gather, which is, if anything, a cruelty born of potential compassion. Or, I suppose, it could be something entirely removed. I cannot begin to claim to know how the deities work or decide things, of course.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I hope the same.

None of us can claim such things. There never seems to be a clear pattern if there's kindness and unkindness dispensed in a curse. Nor can I find a pattern of those who are cursed and not cursed. I dislike giving the 'deities' that much power and credit, but I have no other choice as yet.

[godsavethequeen.livejournal.com]

My curiosity is not to be curbed today, I'm afraid. Your use of 'yet' suggests that you have aim to change this, or do I misread you?

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I should very much like to change it, though I've yet to find a reliable means to do it.

[godsavethequeen.livejournal.com]

Should you find such a means, I would be curious to know what it is, if you were, at that time, willing to share it.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Believe me, if I ever find such a means, I will tell the whole of the City, though the 'deities' might punish me for it. It would be well worth it.