Cain Hargreaves (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
misterblackbird) wrote2011-01-18 02:30 pm
misterblackbird) wrote2011-01-18 02:30 pm
Entry 462; Day 760
[Private || Unhackable]
How many times have I written this same line now? Three? Four? Five? More than that?
Riff is missing.
He's forever vanishing in this place! If it isn't for one reason, it's for another. He's been kidnapped, gone missing, gotten lost, fallen ill, been shot, or he's left the City yet again. I've had enough of that ordeal of waiting and searching--I've gone through it with Merry more than once, and with him more than three times.
I've already gone to the Hall of the Missing but, for once, his portrait wasn't there.
What am I to do with that knowledge? He's here, he's somewhere in the City, but he isn't anywhere that I can see. I've been searching for two days to try and find him and the most I've seen of him is a glimpse on the Network--and in a Network entry from that mad doctor.
I knew Riff had a cough, I know he's prone to fevers, I knew he was going to have that cough seen to, but I didn't think he would be going to him to have it cured. What does it mean that he'd have to go to that doctor for the right medicine? All the healers and doctors and medicine of the hospital and the City at large weren't enough? He had to turn to our enemy for help?
And now he's vanished without actually having gone.
I'm sick to death of this pattern. I can't stand this anymore. I can't endure this anymore. I can't so much as send him out on an errand without having to check the Hall of the Missing if he seems to be gone too long. There's no assurance that he won't have vanished some morning. There's no certainty that I can call on him when I need him. If the City hasn't snatched him, someone else has.
He said he'd follow me into hell. But he never promised to stay. He said he can find me anywhere. But then he abandons me once he finds me. I forbade him to leave. But he has gone anyway.
Unless the City removed him by force, why would he leave me? He belongs to me, and me alone. He's my servant, and he obeys my orders. I won't tolerate this kind of disobedience. If he ever finds his way back into the City or, god forbid, I should find my way back home--
When I see him again, if I ever see him again--
He belongs to me. From the the very moment we met, he was given to me. He has been mine from the beginning. He knows everything about me, everything about my past, everything about who I am. He was the one who caught me when I would have thrown myself over the cliff after my father. He stopped me from crying--that day, those tears were the last.
And then he betrayed me in the City, being nearly eaten alive by a madman in his head, and I cried again. Only he could do that.
The shadow that fell between us then, the chasm that that madman opened up between us seemed impossible to cross. And he crossed it. He came back to me, my Riff, not the madman, though the shadow of it was still there. There was a bitterness to it all, then, a sadness.
Did we see then how fragile everything was?
He knows everything! He promised me! He swore with my blood! He has as good as betrayed me.
I longed for something deeper than blood ties. Riff knew that. Riff, you knew that. I nearly threw myself over a cliff, and you held me back. You swore yourself to me and only to me, to watch over me and to serve me.
Is this that? It can't be. You swore on my blood and you said you'd follow me to hell. You could find me anywhere. You told me how you found me, and it was no trick. It was because you knew me and you belonged to me. Your promise did that. The woman you were to marry tried to kill me, tried to shove me over the balcony, and you reached to catch me instead of her. You belong to me and fight for me. You answer when I call and leave when I say. You belong to me. You belong to me.
You're mine, Riff. You said you'd follow me to hell. And this is hell, Riff. This is hell. This has been my hell for nearly four years now. And you've come and gone at least five times, forgetting and remembering each time. I've lost count of how often you've come and gone, of how often you've broken your promise to me. You've been expelled from the City, you've been kidnapped, you've been captured, you've been shot, you've been tortured, you've been driven mad, you've been attacked, you've been stabbed, you've been bitten by monstrous spiders, and now you've apparently walked into that doctor's trap.
You might as well never come here, Riff. You'll only leave again--by the City's will, by our enemies' will, or, apparently, by your own will.
Have you betrayed me? Have you gone to him willingly? Have you stayed there? Have you been caught? You haven't sent me word, you haven't told me anything, I'm exhausted from searching, I haven't slept, even Merry must know something is wrong. What did he do to you? What has he done to you?
I can't keep losing you.
Riff, you're mine. You're still mine. And I need you here. But you're never here when I need you.
I need you.
You're still mine.
You're always mine.
And you will come back to me or I will destroy this City to get back to you.
[//end private filter]
[Private to Riff || Unhackable]
Where are you? I saw you in that doctor's Network entry. I don't know if he meant to show it or not, but I saw it. Believe me, I saw it.
I knew you were going to have that cough seen to at last, but I didn't know it would be his medicine you'd be taking.
Where are you? What has he done? At least send me a message, but you'd do better to come home. You said you'd be home to rest. You're not at home and you're not resting. All I can assume is that he's caught you.
I've spent the last two days searching for you and that glimpse on the Network is all I've had of you. All I can assume is that he's done more and worse to you, that he still has you. I'm going to find you or you're going to find me.
Riff, you're mine. Have you forgotten that? You're mine, completely. You swore yourself to me. You're mine. You can't just disappear when you please. You belong to me.
Where are you? I need you. Come home.
[//end private filter]
[Filtered Away from Merryweather Hargreaves || Difficult to Hack]
Disgraceful as it is to admit it, my butler has gone missing.
We haven't the same household as we did in London, I admit, but there's enough to be done as it is. I'm in need of his help and it's more than a little unseemly to have him missing like this. He goes out enough as it is, but he tells me so and he comes back when he's finished with his errands.
I know he's in the City: I spoke to him on Sunday, there isn't a portrait for him in the Hall of the Missing, and I saw him on the Network just last night. So he's vanished, but only so much.
If anyone has seen him or spoken to him, tell him that he is expected home immediately.
Riff, you are needed at home.
~C.
[//end filter]
[ooc: So this happened. And that happened after Riff apparently forgot who Merry is over the weekend. And now Riff seems to be straight up missing. Organize a search party, it's time to panic. No, this isn't a good week so far in the Hargreaves Household ;_; Merry-mun: Cain has filtered this against Merry, but he can't keep all of this from her, obviously. So, you know, feel free to notice all the signs that would indicate what this post is about in person. And maybe he even left his Network device open, idk. tl;dr: it's probably pretty obvious what's up.]
How many times have I written this same line now? Three? Four? Five? More than that?
Riff is missing.
He's forever vanishing in this place! If it isn't for one reason, it's for another. He's been kidnapped, gone missing, gotten lost, fallen ill, been shot, or he's left the City yet again. I've had enough of that ordeal of waiting and searching--I've gone through it with Merry more than once, and with him more than three times.
I've already gone to the Hall of the Missing but, for once, his portrait wasn't there.
What am I to do with that knowledge? He's here, he's somewhere in the City, but he isn't anywhere that I can see. I've been searching for two days to try and find him and the most I've seen of him is a glimpse on the Network--and in a Network entry from that mad doctor.
I knew Riff had a cough, I know he's prone to fevers, I knew he was going to have that cough seen to, but I didn't think he would be going to him to have it cured. What does it mean that he'd have to go to that doctor for the right medicine? All the healers and doctors and medicine of the hospital and the City at large weren't enough? He had to turn to our enemy for help?
And now he's vanished without actually having gone.
I'm sick to death of this pattern. I can't stand this anymore. I can't endure this anymore. I can't so much as send him out on an errand without having to check the Hall of the Missing if he seems to be gone too long. There's no assurance that he won't have vanished some morning. There's no certainty that I can call on him when I need him. If the City hasn't snatched him, someone else has.
He said he'd follow me into hell. But he never promised to stay. He said he can find me anywhere. But then he abandons me once he finds me. I forbade him to leave. But he has gone anyway.
Unless the City removed him by force, why would he leave me? He belongs to me, and me alone. He's my servant, and he obeys my orders. I won't tolerate this kind of disobedience. If he ever finds his way back into the City or, god forbid, I should find my way back home--
When I see him again, if I ever see him again--
He belongs to me. From the the very moment we met, he was given to me. He has been mine from the beginning. He knows everything about me, everything about my past, everything about who I am. He was the one who caught me when I would have thrown myself over the cliff after my father. He stopped me from crying--that day, those tears were the last.
And then he betrayed me in the City, being nearly eaten alive by a madman in his head, and I cried again. Only he could do that.
The shadow that fell between us then, the chasm that that madman opened up between us seemed impossible to cross. And he crossed it. He came back to me, my Riff, not the madman, though the shadow of it was still there. There was a bitterness to it all, then, a sadness.
Did we see then how fragile everything was?
He knows everything! He promised me! He swore with my blood! He has as good as betrayed me.
I longed for something deeper than blood ties. Riff knew that. Riff, you knew that. I nearly threw myself over a cliff, and you held me back. You swore yourself to me and only to me, to watch over me and to serve me.
Is this that? It can't be. You swore on my blood and you said you'd follow me to hell. You could find me anywhere. You told me how you found me, and it was no trick. It was because you knew me and you belonged to me. Your promise did that. The woman you were to marry tried to kill me, tried to shove me over the balcony, and you reached to catch me instead of her. You belong to me and fight for me. You answer when I call and leave when I say. You belong to me. You belong to me.
You're mine, Riff. You said you'd follow me to hell. And this is hell, Riff. This is hell. This has been my hell for nearly four years now. And you've come and gone at least five times, forgetting and remembering each time. I've lost count of how often you've come and gone, of how often you've broken your promise to me. You've been expelled from the City, you've been kidnapped, you've been captured, you've been shot, you've been tortured, you've been driven mad, you've been attacked, you've been stabbed, you've been bitten by monstrous spiders, and now you've apparently walked into that doctor's trap.
You might as well never come here, Riff. You'll only leave again--by the City's will, by our enemies' will, or, apparently, by your own will.
Have you betrayed me? Have you gone to him willingly? Have you stayed there? Have you been caught? You haven't sent me word, you haven't told me anything, I'm exhausted from searching, I haven't slept, even Merry must know something is wrong. What did he do to you? What has he done to you?
I can't keep losing you.
Riff, you're mine. You're still mine. And I need you here. But you're never here when I need you.
I need you.
You're still mine.
You're always mine.
And you will come back to me or I will destroy this City to get back to you.
[//end private filter]
[Private to Riff || Unhackable]
Where are you? I saw you in that doctor's Network entry. I don't know if he meant to show it or not, but I saw it. Believe me, I saw it.
I knew you were going to have that cough seen to at last, but I didn't know it would be his medicine you'd be taking.
Where are you? What has he done? At least send me a message, but you'd do better to come home. You said you'd be home to rest. You're not at home and you're not resting. All I can assume is that he's caught you.
I've spent the last two days searching for you and that glimpse on the Network is all I've had of you. All I can assume is that he's done more and worse to you, that he still has you. I'm going to find you or you're going to find me.
Riff, you're mine. Have you forgotten that? You're mine, completely. You swore yourself to me. You're mine. You can't just disappear when you please. You belong to me.
Where are you? I need you. Come home.
[//end private filter]
[Filtered Away from Merryweather Hargreaves || Difficult to Hack]
Disgraceful as it is to admit it, my butler has gone missing.
We haven't the same household as we did in London, I admit, but there's enough to be done as it is. I'm in need of his help and it's more than a little unseemly to have him missing like this. He goes out enough as it is, but he tells me so and he comes back when he's finished with his errands.
I know he's in the City: I spoke to him on Sunday, there isn't a portrait for him in the Hall of the Missing, and I saw him on the Network just last night. So he's vanished, but only so much.
If anyone has seen him or spoken to him, tell him that he is expected home immediately.
Riff, you are needed at home.
~C.
[//end filter]
[ooc: So this happened. And that happened after Riff apparently forgot who Merry is over the weekend. And now Riff seems to be straight up missing. Organize a search party, it's time to panic. No, this isn't a good week so far in the Hargreaves Household ;_; Merry-mun: Cain has filtered this against Merry, but he can't keep all of this from her, obviously. So, you know, feel free to notice all the signs that would indicate what this post is about in person. And maybe he even left his Network device open, idk. tl;dr: it's probably pretty obvious what's up.]
text
text
[Or perhaps the boy is a bit touched in the head.]
text
What happened to you, Riff?
text
Moreover, such an informal form of address toward a stranger is hardly becoming, especially of a young lord.
text
text
text
text
text
You may be cursed already.
text
text
text
text
What happened to you?--You gave your word that you wouldn't forget me--
And that curse should be long over by now--
Very well, then.